Hello there. My name's Kellie. Buffalo Rustic Kellie to be precise.

I was born on the 4 October 2000 at Buffalo Kennels at Exeter, a little town in the beautiful Southern Highlands of New South Wales, Australia. My Dad was a rather splendiferous fellow by the name of Rian (Ch Lawnwoods Rustic Rian CDX), who was imported to Australia from the UK. My Mum was a lovely little lady named Breeze (Ch Buffalo Waterwings).

So, anyway, here's my Dad Rian (on the left) and my Mum Breeze (on the right). They are pictured with Mike and Sandra Patterson, who own and operate Buffalo Kennels. Sandra, incidentally, is currently President of the National Golden Retriever Council, and is the author of the book Australia's Golden Heritage. Believe me, Mike and Sandra know their Goldens.

About nine weeks after my birth, I moved to my new home here at No 86 Blackwood Terrace in Canberra. Little did I know at that stage that my Mum would one day come to live with me at No 86. Nope, so far as I was aware at that stage I was heading out, all alone, to make my own way in the world.

Here I am at Buffalo Kennels on the day that the Pack Leader and Alpha Female came to pick me up and take me to my new home. I'm pictured here with two of the six other puppies in my litter. (But don't ask which one is me. We've completely forgotten who is who in this particular shot.)

Having arrived at No 86, I quickly familiarised myself with the lay of the land, checking out my new bed, toys, and supper bowl and sniffing around the interior and backyard of The Big White Kennel. This exploratory activity continued for the next few days, being occasionally interrupted by my contractual requirement to spend at least part of my time charming the socks right off the resident humans, a task for which, as you are no doubt well aware, Golden Retriever puppies are uniquely well equipped. Nothing to it, really. Just be yourself, I always say.

I mean, all you've got to do is just stand there or lay there (see the demos above) and the humans will soon be gushing all over you, smothering you with pats and hugs and telling you how absolutely GA-HAW-JUSS you are, etc., etc. Actually, you know, this sort of thing can get to be a bit of a drag after a while, but there's no use complaining. It's just one of those things Golden Retriever puppies have to put up with. One of the crosses we have to bear, you might say.

And if you want to give the humans a good old triple whammy in this particular department, contrive to be having a little nap when you know they will be wandering by. Take it from me, this is quite the best way to achieve instant forgiveness if you have just been found guilty of some minor transgression of the rules of the kennel. It's so easy, in fact, that you can actually do it in your sleep (see demo above).

That may be one small step for a man, but it's one giant leap for a 9-week-old Golden Retriever puppy, let me tell you that. Still, as the Pack Leader and Alpha Female were to soon learn to their chagrin, very few obstacles could prevent me from getting from where I was to where I wanted to be. Indeed, the ingenuity I displayed in this regard quite often caused my humans to stagger backwards in stunned disbelief.

And let's be clear on one thing: You can have flowers and shrubs and the like or you can have a Golden Retriever puppy, but you can't have both. This is a known fact. This is one of the immutable laws of nature. I mention this because the little episode pictured above marked the beginning of my general assault on the flora at No 86, a challenging project which was to fully test my inventiveness and resourcefulness over the coming months.

And, boy, was I growing fast. Here I am as I looked after the first month at my new abode. My humans were looking extremely haggard at this stage, but I was in pretty good shape, all things considered. It was around this time that the Pack Leader attached the soubriquet The Kellie-Bomb to me, on account of the fact that my arrival at No 86 had had an effect similar to that of an incoming cruise missile. Hah!